It's not supposed to be this way, by Lysa TerKeurst 

A robust and coherent response to a devastating family saga, to declare that God has a purpose even in the terrible things that happen to us

It's not supposed to be this way
By Lysa TerKeurst
Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 978-1400210978
Reviewed by Terry Young

I came across this book by accident: a friend is going through a pretty horrendous time and he told me how helpful he was finding this book he found on the web. Intrigued by what a very American woman might have to offer a very British chap, I downloaded it and read it through more or less in a sitting. He may write up his story one day and a large slice of her story is painfully laid out in the book, so I'll take it from here and explain what I like about it.

The axle around which Lysa’s book turns is a devastating family saga, made worse if anything by the fact that she's well known in her circles, although she was new to me. Because of this, everybody feels entitled to comment on the struggle she's going through. With pace and candour, Lysa tells us exactly how she's feeling as she tries to find God in the situation. Of course, life is never a single situation for long, and as she is recovering from one shock there are a couple of health aftershocks to deal with, too.

The irony that her ministry is in speaking and writing for people who are going through the mill is not lost on her, and at one stage she even ends up counselling someone who has caused the same sort of debacle she is emerging from herself.

As well as lucid writing, Lysa is funny and there's a sort of joyful playfulness about her expedition even when the subject matter is tough. There's much more, however, to this book than humour to leaven the insight. Nor is it just a series of disaster stories that look like they may be turning a corner by the end of the book.

Although Lysa's world is falling apart before her eyes, all her communication skills are also coming together as she writes. In her struggle, you're aware that she is trying to create, as they say, a truly teachable moment. She has the courage to say in the middle of the book that she doesn't yet know how it's going to end.

So then, what is it that I really like about this book? I guess the first thing is that Lysa tries to set her experiences within a biblical framework. There's always a danger when you try to derive your theology from your experience that the result will be lopsided, but Lysa has immersed herself in enough of the Bible to pull this off! I'm not saying I buy it all, but I like what she's done, and I probably want to think a little more about some of her more creative lunges.

Lysa quotes Scripture at length and stitches the references together nicely. It's not sufficiently systematic or watertight to be a treatise on the theology of pain or disappointment but it's a robust and coherent response to the experiences she's gone through, and it will give you enough to start working your own way through your problems. Because she's a speaker there is a lot of alliteration with the headings, including in the section at the end of each chapter, Going to the well, which summarises the main lessons: remember, receive, and reflect (which includes a prayer).

Going to the well also includes Bible passages for further reading. Sometimes I wondered whether she started with the bullets at the end and wrote the chapters around them, but it fits together well. I liked her palette of Scripture and found myself in places, such as 1 Peter, where I’ve spent many happy hours in the past.

So: good use of scripture, lots of structure in the headings and bold highlights on the page, around an engrossing story that’s told with flair. Lysa is very American with her retail therapy and craft activities but the power of what she's written reaches out beyond the culture to declare that God has a purpose even in the terrible things that happen to us.

Like me, you'll probably be left with questions – and the messiness is one of Lysa’s endearing features – but I think you’ll also leave with an encouraged and thoughtful optimism about how to face bad times.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
 

Terry Young is a missionary kid who read science and engineering. After a PhD in lasers, he worked in R&D before becoming a professor, when he taught project management, information systems and e-business, while leading research in healthcare.

He set up Datchet Consulting to have fun with both faith and work and worshipped at Baptist churches in Slough for 19 years before moving to the New Forest