Grief Notes: Walking through loss by Tony Horsfall

Raw and honest account following the death of the author's wife of 47 years from cancer

Grief Notes: Walking through loss: The first year after bereavement
By Tony Horsfall
BRF
ISBN: 978-1-80039-126-0
Reviewed by Sue Clements-Jewery

There is no shortage of books about bereavement, what to expect,  stages of grief, how to cope, and so as I opened this book I wondered what it could add to the mounting pile of Christian contributions to the understanding of an experience common to all human beings.

Tony Horsfall, best known for retreat leading and his writing about resilience and depth in Christian ministry, lost his wife, Evelyn to cancer in July 2020,in the early months of the pandemic. They had been married for 47 years and she had been suffering from cancer for four years prior to her death.

The author uses the notes he made and kept during the first year of his widowhood as the basis for his account, adding paragraphs of explanation, links to other sources about grief and biblical quotes.

The book has value in that it is a raw and honest account of his personal journey.  This is the part of the books that I found connected best with me as the reader, as he shares his vulnerability, his adjustment to living alone (in lockdown) and picking up the threads of his life, including learning now to look after himself for the first time since he married Evelyn.

Clearly, his faith sustained him, and his friends and family supported him both practically and emotionally. Joining in a GriefShare course online helped him normalise his experience and find encouragement from others in similar situations.

Who might be helped by this book? Anyone who has enjoyed the author’s books and feels that he is on their wavelength (Deep calls to Deep and Rhythms of Grace to name a couple). Those in ministry who would appreciate an accessible resource for someone who is grieving.

For anyone familiar with theories of grief this may be less useful as (being written over a year) it is quite repetitive. I would hesitate to recommend it to anyone who has lost their life’s partner suddenly, without any preparation for what lies ahead. Such a person might well feel that the Horsfalls were given time to prepare for the end and they were not.

Sue Clements-Jewery is a Pastoral Supervisor

Baptist Times, 21/10/2022

Post Tweet

The Eclipse of Christianity And Why it Matters, by Rupert Shortt

A helpful and important study, offering an insight to the vitality of the Christian faith and an argument to Christians to not give up on the church (and/or faith), despite the many challenges that belonging to the church brings

Messy Togetherness, by Martyn Payne andd Chris Barnett

Essential reading that will encourage those who are already doing Messy Church, and give practical guidance to those who are thinking about how they can best encourage families for whom church is not on their agenda

God, The Science, The Evidence, by Michel-Ives Bolloré and Olivier Bonnassies

‘International bestseller which is lengthy but easy to read, and presents clear and logical scientific (and some non scientific) arguments for the possible existence of a creator God’

Divine Windows, by Dave Gregory

Former President skilfully shows how the findings of science can be a source of wonder which deepens our appreciation of God and his creation

Waiting for Jesus, by Rich Villodas

Thoughtful Advent devotional where the over-arching theme is waiting… ‘not really waiting for Christmas on the whole, so much as the ever-present Saviour’